the things most needed, the things least asked for

I bury my face in your shoulder

you smell so good

I want to tell you

but I’m too busy soaking your shirt with my tears

I hope I smell this good to you

I am ashamed of my tears

ashamed of your wet shirt

But this is exactly what I needed

This is what I love most

I feel so small

wrapped in your long arms

I am embarrassed and very conscious of the loud, awkward, syncopated rhythm of my chest as I breathe, sobbing

against the steady rhythm of your metronomic ribcage as it rises and falls

My ear gets cold every time you inhale, and it waits for the small puff of warm, moist air as you breathe out again

I don’t want you to see me like this

I don’t want to need your help

but you surround me

literally and figuratively

and I have forgotten how amazing you are at making me forget

everything

The crap of my life goes away in moments like these

moments where you just hold me

you just hold me

you are not embarrassed of me

not ashamed that I need you

not angry that I need help

My tears have choked and closed up my throat

But I don’t need words to tell you

Thank you

Please don’t let this moment ever end

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