A Wonderful Feeling

I held it against my bare skin

Then dragged it downward

again and again

I did it because it hurt

Because I knew I would feel pain

Pain that I deserve

Pain that I don’t deserve to live without

My life has been far too good

too wonderful, too pure

So I need the pain to make me whole

To make me aware of what I’m misssing

To make me realize how good I have it

To try to understand why

I watch the red rain cry from my

arms

hips

feet

I’ll come up with some lame excuse to explain the scars

But for now

the pain I’ve been waiting for all my life

feels strangely wonderful

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