Every Time I Close My Eyes

The gun gets bigger

every time I close my eyes

the first time was the worst

with the life-sized gun

in the back of the life-sized van

now with my life-sized children in my stomach, ready to come

they’re your children, did you know?

You who dragged me into that van at gunpoint

weren’t we at one point friends?

And you had to have all of me

because that was what I would not give

are you happy now?

Because I’m too young to be a mom

because you just had to please yourself

and now every time I close my eyes

you are all I can see

and the gun gets bigger

and your smile gets wider

and the fact that I’m pregnant

shows more every day.

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