Heavy Rain

Panes on the windows
broken by the blessed raindrops
shooting air-holes through
the minds of the transparent
help them see more clearly
the way the world is
letting them breathe
the amniotic fluid
they are unused to
they hate it
and try to hold their breath
not wanting to breathe
not realizing their need

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25 Comments

Filed under Free Verse

25 responses to “Heavy Rain

  1. the emotions while hit by heavy rain is validly demonstrated,

    well done.

  2. I love the dark tones of this, I can picture a window scene very clearly. Well written 🙂

  3. Fatesjoke03

    Such an interesting thing to notice. Nicely done.

  4. Kay Salady

    We often run away from what we need and run toward what we don’t. This is an interesting piece. I like it.

  5. To me your piece speaks the place of fear that holds people back from culminating will to breath change for movement out. Very nicely done!

  6. shail

    Sad state of affairs when people hold their breath not knowing their own need. Well written.

    http://wordsinverse.wordpress.com/2011/10/20/lost-souls/

  7. There is urgency and strength to your poem. Good work.

  8. Bupinder Singh

    blank verse..nicely done

  9. //broken by the blessed raindrops
    shooting air-holes through
    the minds of the transparent// I really loved these lines… brilliant and very creative imagery.
    keep writing 🙂

  10. wow holding your breath not wanting to breath and not feeling need this is excellent and very deep well penned
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/20/taken-from-me-on-halloween-night/

  11. Sometimes we run away from what can help us breath. well done prose.

  12. expatinCAT

    Powerful piece.. // Peter.

  13. A.B. Thomas

    The flow is so smooth yet the mood is so hectic, loved it!

  14. magical capture of the feel of stuck and hard to breathe,

    lovely imagery with windows and raindrops in it.
    you rocked on it.

    🙂

  15. heavy but so real. got to feel and breath the reality of the moment 🙂

  16. The rain comes right through the words..

  17. Guess that’s why they call it window pane. Oh dangit that one’s taken. Umm…hold your horses, hold the rains?
    Sorry about that–just wanted to let you know I enjoyed this one very much 🙂

  18. A powerful and descriptive piece of art….well done.

  19. a piece that is deep and profound,
    Thanks for the support.

    join poets rally again tomorrow with a free verse.
    smiles.

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