Daniel

A friend
I thought
I paid
To hear my crying out
Has left
Has ushered me out
And I
Am lost
And done
And wondering
How
And why
And what have I done
Such a naked feel
ing
that I
that I
Oh I’m
Just too
broken
broken
broken
Breaking down
and out
and done

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Numbers

I’ve pried open your eyelids
And I’m forcing you to look, now
See?
My loins laid bare before you
All my ineptitude
And the lies

But no–you still don’t see

Do you?

My, my

You’ve wounded a soul or two today

1, 5, 14
1, 17, 14
1, 7, 15, 08
5, 12, 12
3, 2, 12

These don’t matter to you, do they.

Melanie fucking Zimmer

Fucks us all with her pretend lies

It’s not about the numbers
Meaningless to you
It’s
About
Me
Because these numbers
Are
Who I am

And I am nothing
But numbers
To you.

Oh you
Oh you
Oh you

Nothing —

Worthless

Even to me

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Interest

Because you and I
We like to sleep
Sleep
Covered in love
And peace
Peace
Rest now
Your weary head
Anticipation
Like a woman in labor
Is waiting for you to
Leave
Leave

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Bound by hurt

You’re my friend
Or you once were
And now we’re very different
I–in my old skin I come to you
The happy me screaming to be free.
A mother lost on Christmas Eve
A funeral shortly after
Dictates I must trap myself
Within myself
To ease your hurt.
We were friends
Or once were
Now we feel more like strangers
As we’ve both changed
For better and worse,
But tragedy creates sisters
Of us all

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Filed under Free Verse, Letter

Desires

Following
Obediently
Reluctantly
It can be such a struggle
Opening up
To the world that really you want to live in
Music and joy
Fall in languages
That resemble snow
Around my temples
Fighting with my own heart
To find within
That following your own heart
Isn’t as easy as it sounds
Happiness is a goal
A journey
But where
And why
And how does one get there?
Especially not knowing
Exactly what one wants
Only to be happy
And loved
And found.

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Coffee Time Again

Relaxing over warm cups of liquid
This, like many time before
Only now we’ve forgotten where and when we met
And the sting of things we left behind
Finally hurts
A little less
More times like this before us
Forgetting how much
We loved where our friendship was born
And now it’s not about
Where we came from
But just the present
And sometimes the future
Let’s hold this moment
On our tongues
For now.

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Filed under Free Verse, Letter

Coke-Bottle

We take pictures of our younger selves
To remember what was here
Only to discover
That maybe it was a love affair after all
With an object
Made for war
And as we listen to the hail
We remember all the things we should have loved
In place of this
Mask of destruction
But it was beautiful while it lasted
And I’m so attached to it still
I’m sitting uncomfortably. I know it wasn’t…
But if think of it clear as day
The decay that it caused me
As my muse inside me
Ignited
Nuclear fission
That caused me to fade away
Starting from within
So I captured the moment on acetate
And threw it in this box
It was supposed to burn
All of my lovely memories
But
{my lover would have wanted}
It saved the remains lying here
And left all that I wish I remembered
Lying cold, forgotten
In the mattress
As the sting of my fault
My fault
My grievous
Most grievous fault
Haunts me still.

I lie in a cold, empty bed.

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